• aze

Let's Talk About Loving Ourselves Unconditionally

With images constantly being shoved in our faces about what we should and shouldn’t look like, it can be increasingly difficult to love ourselves for what we are. To know that we are enough in the present, here and now. With all that we have and do not have. Here are three reasons to appreciate yourself for all that you are.



Loving Yourself Allows You to Love Others, and Receive Love From Others, in Unprecedented Amounts and Ways


When you are kind enough to yourself to forgive your past mistakes, your shortcomings and flaws, you can’t help but have the same compassion for others. In the same way, the love and light that shines within you will radiate out to those around you. People will be attracted to you in ways they don’t understand, and will want to be around you because of your undying respect for yourself and others.



No One's Going to Do it For You


The old saying ‘No one can love you until you love yourself’ is harsh but has truth to it. I’m going to rephrase it in a more gentle way: until you love yourself, the people around you aren’t going to know how to love you. It’s not others’ responsibility to respect you and treat you the way you desire to be treated. And people can’t read minds (though I wish we could 😔).


What I’m saying is, when you set boundaries and standards for how you want to be treated, people follow suit. If your standards are low, the people in your life are going to meet that standard. They’re going to mistreat you, call you names you don’t like, cut you off when you’re speaking, and disrespect your personal space and opinions. When your standards are high — when you don’t tolerate the disruption of your peace, the overstepping of your boundaries and the disrespect of your lifestyle — people meet you there. And those who don’t generally can’t handle your high self-esteem and show themselves out of your life.


Also, others have themselves to take care of. They have their own insecurities to embrace and happiness to forge. Trying to put the responsibility of making you feel better about yourself on others is self-centered, and not considerate of people’s responsibilities to themselves.



WHO ELSE IS GOING TO BE YOU?


Aside from who else is going to love you better than you can, who else is going to take up this space, this life, this existence, better than you are meant to?


You were put on this Earth for a reason. Everything you’ve been through happened for a reason. Maybe you were meant to guide other women who went through what you did. Maybe you were meant to change the narrative about women who live with certain illnesses, like HIV or cancer, or who work in certain industries, like Sex Work or law enforcement. Whatever it is, no one can assume the role you were meant to take in your life. And the first step to assuming that role is coming to peace with your past, your present and your potential future.



This list is in no way comprehensive of all the reasons why you should take the initiative to love yourself for all you have and all you are. But the reasons listed are enough. The energy you give out will be returned to you, so be kind to yourself! I will never not remind you all to speak to yourself as you would your greatest friend. Because in the end, you are all you have.


Love and Light,


Azé


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