Transformation & Rebirth:A Conversation About How Change Impacts Our Mental Well-Being & How to Deal
Yes, transformation and rebirth are beautiful in the end. Everyone loves to use the butterfly as an example of how beautiful those processes can be. But what people don’t talk about during the transformation of the caterpillar into the butterfly is the big gunk of goo it has to turn into in order to become the butterfly. No one talks about the unpleasant, messy part of the process. And that is the topic of today’s conversation. This post gets into the nitty gritty of these points:
While transformation and rebirth makes you stronger and places you closer to your desired life and the desired version of who you want to be, it can get really nasty and have adverse effects on our mental, physical and emotional well-being.
Sometimes, we don’t even recognize that we have transformed and that who we are now, and where we are in our journeys, deserves to be celebrated and cherished. We sometimes get so attached to the exact image we have in our mind of what our lives should look like, what our bodies should look like, what our relationships should like, that we can’t see that we have come so far! That we are successful! That we are so much closer to who we want to be, and where we want to be than ever before!
Not only do you have to recognize that you’ve transformed, you have to be kind to who you are now. You have to figure out what the present you needs and desires, and what brings you joy, makes you feel loved, cared for, safe, and beautiful.
These changes are difficult and it’s essential to know how to upkeep your mental health throughout it all!
Manifestation has become a huge topic of conversation all over social media and tv. Everyone wants to know how to get their desired life, body, career, home, car and the list goes on. But what we don’t talk about are the mental and emotional shifts that happen in your life that are necessary for your manifestation to come in.
Manifestation is not just about bettering your material possessions, or your professional environments or your relationships; oftentimes, in order for these to come in, you will be forced to undergo a series of mental and emotional shifts that will allow your actions, beliefs, and thoughts to align with what you’re manifesting. But these shifts are difficult to undergo, especially because they’re unexpected and you may not know what the lessons were until you’re on the other side. It’s a two sided coin: you want the universe to better your life in some way, but in order to receive what you’re asking for, you will be expected to let go of people, environments, ideas, thought patterns and beliefs, material possessions, and anything that is holding you back from aligning with what you want.
You will lose friends. You will lose interest in activities and environments that you used to love. Your life circumstances will change, like maybe you’ll be forced to leave school, or maybe you’ll be fired from your job. Maybe your family dynamics will change, or your romantic relationships will get better, worse, or become nonexistent.
And throughout all these changes and transformations, loneliness will begin to creep in. You may begin to feel like you’re alone, and that no one sees what you’re going through.
You will begin to feel lost. You will be sad that certain friendships had to end the way they did. You will be heartbroken when a romantic relationship falls through. You will be angry about getting fired, or disappointed in yourself that you had to leave school. And in the midst of all these come the negative intrusive thoughts telling you that you’re not enough. Telling you that you’re a failure for leaving school. Or that you weren’t pretty enough for that person. And then comes social media, seeing everyone else seeming like they’re living the perfect lives and then here you are, struggling. All of these can lead to a spiral and make you feel like you’re falling into an endless pit of despair and depression. And all of this is OK.
I’m talking about this today because I’m here to tell you that these moments will not go on forever, even if it feels like it. Everyday you choose to survive, you are taking one more step toward the manifestation of a better life. I’m also here to tell you how you can navigate these times of depression, anxiety, loneliness and fear.
Fight. That’s right. Love and light is cool and all. But when it comes to those terrible intrusive thoughts, saying all kinds of negative things to you, I need you to fight them with everything in you. Even if you need to yell it in your head, or verbally speak it. YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE. YOU ARE NOT UGLY. YOU ARE DESERVING OF LOVE. YOU ARE PROTECTED BY THE LIGHT OF THE UNIVERSE. YOU DESERVE EVERY BLESSING THE UNIVERSE HAS COMING TO YOU. YOU ARE OPEN TO RECEIVING THE PROSPERITY AND ABUNDANCE OF THE UNIVERSE.
Recognize how much you have changed. Every time something happens in your life, you’re different as a result of that. And no I’m not talking about every time you get on the bus you come out a new person, lol. I’m talking about the events that impact you mentally, emotionally, spiritually or physically, whether positive or negative. It changes you because, whether the experience is positive or negative, it makes you learn more about yourself. If it’s positive, it makes you realize what brings you joy and what makes you feel safe, loved, taken care of or fulfilled. If it’s negative, you get to reflect on what you will not tolerate, the boundaries you need to create, the environments and people you need to stay away from, how to better protect yourself and your energy, and how to forgive yourself for whatever shame, guilt and disappointment you may be harboring towards yourself for the negative experiences you had.
After you recognize how you’ve changed, you need to be kind to this new you. Give your present-self grace. And give yourself the space to explore who you are now. Maybe the present-you wants to take a break from letting new people in your life. Maybe the present-you has different physical needs, like maybe your body has changed and you need more sleep now. Or maybe you can’t go 18 hours without a meal anymore. Give the new you the care and attention they need! After all of the changes that the world has endured and that our communities and families have endured, and the changes that we have experienced personally, we have to always remember to give ourselves the grace that the world refuses to give us or acknowledge that we need.
Finally, hang with the uncertainty of it all. Your mental health will be better off for it. I know a lot of us are control freaks. We have to know the when, why, how, where, who, what, how many, which ones and everything else. But when you give the universe the green light to bring you a manifestation, honey child, you are releasing the right to know all of these things as soon as you put the thought in the air. You won’t ever know all the details, or the exact moment that things will take place for you. But, we have to remember one of the steps to manifesting is believing. It may not all seem clear to you at the moment, but you have to trust that everything is falling into place for you the exact way it is supposed to.
And when you start to see the first inklings of your manifestation coming in, a lot of things will start to click. You’ll know why you had to lose that friend, maybe they were jealous and weren’t going to support you in your success. You’ll understand why you had to lose that job, or why you had to have that fallout with your family. Certain events that have happened in your life will begin to make sense, and you’ll look back at the series of transformations you went through as the butterfly remembers what it was like to be a caterpillar, and you’ll be able to say, “Damn, that was rough. But I made it.”
And we want to leave you with this: we are all works in progress, and the personal growth and development doesn’t stop when we stop manifesting. But regardless of if we’re manifesting or not, it is important that we give love and grace to who we are right now, in the present.
Being present can sometimes feel like an extremely difficult task. To come back to center, to look at your present self and present circumstances with compassion and grace even though you may feel like you need to constantly be in forward motion, is no small feat. It can be extremely difficult to acknowledge changes to your body, appearance, career, or any circumstances, but being present is necessary for both our healing and our moving forward. So when all else fails, just try to be present. And in grounding yourself in the present, you will find what you need to make it through whatever challenge you’re facing.
Azé and Sierra