Updated: Jun 27
How to love the woman you see in the mirror.
As women, especially in the age of social media, we are constantly comparing ourselves to others, trying to achieve the look of a skinny woman with a big booty and big breasts. In the back of our minds we know it's unrealistic, yet we hop on fad diets and buy hundreds of dollars worth of 'fat-loss teas' and waist trimmers only to be disappointed when we realize that we still don't look like the girls in the pictures. This is a continuous cycle of motivation and heartbreak, which we can break by being satisfied with the woman we see in the mirror, no matter what she looks like. Here are five life-changing ways to do that:
1) Look in the mirror and tell her how much you love her. Confidence and Self-Love walk hand in hand, and words are power -- both in thought and when verbalized. When you're scrolling through Instagram asking yourself 'Why can't I look like her?' or even joking about how you 'look like a potato', you're teaching your brain that your body is not enough, not worthy of praise or love, and brings the 'ugliness' you've programmed yourself to believe into a reality. Change the script, tell your brain, "No, I don't look like her, and that's ok." Tell yourself, "I am worthy of love and praise". Tell the woman in the mirror, "I love you just the way you are, right now, forever and always."
2) Dance naked in the mirror. The best time to do this would be right before you get in the shower, as you're already naked. Most people already shower with music, so if you're one of those people, you're halfway there. Put your music on, take your clothes off and dance as if no one's watching. Because it's true! No one is watching. This is for you, no one else. So don't worry if you feel stiff or awkward or silly. No one cares, is the bottom line, because the only person who'll know you're doing it, is you. This will allow you to get really comfortable with your body -- your rolls, stretch marks, pointy joints, flat booty and all, girl! Gon head and let loose!!!
3) Unfollow Instagram pages that makes you question your beauty or represent your natural beauty. If you follow a bunch of pages who post and glorify women who all look the same, you're eventually going to start believing that you have to look like those women in order to be considered beautiful. Follow pages that promote body positivity. Follow pages that post pictures of Black Women of all shapes and sizes. A few I would recommend are @lovebrwn and @brwnart on Instagram. These kinds of pages will make you feel good about yourself, and appreciate your body for all it is and all it can do.
4) Recite Positive Affirmations as often as possible. This goes back to my point in number one about speaking positively about yourself. This time, however, your affirmations don't have to solely be about the way you view your body and you don't need a mirror. Positive affirmations can be about being grateful for what you have, and speaking abundance and wealth into your life. Here are some you can use:
I am happy.
My life is good.
I am healthy.
Money flows easily into my life.
Everything I need is inside me now.
The past is gone.
I let go of all thoughts that no longer serve me well.
I am worthy of love.
Love is all around me.
I am wealthy.
I am relaxed.
I am here.
You can take time out of your morning to repeat these two or three times to yourself, or say one or two of these lines to yourself throughout the day. These are especially helpful when you are having negative thoughts about yourself and your life. You will not see an immediate difference. Just like it took years of negative self talk and doubt to make you believe you're not enough, it will take a while to break that mindset and build one of confidence and love. So be consistent and patient with yourself.
5) Forgive yourself. As you embark on this journey of confidence and self-love, you will see that every person in your life, both on social media and in your real life, have made mistakes that have cost them friendships, job opportunities, relationships with family members and even their health. I say this to say, your mistakes don't make you any better or worse than the next person. So make peace with whatever decisions you've made in the past, both good and bad, and let. them. go. You can't change your decisions, but you learn from them and take what you learned to build your highest self.
These tips will definitely help you feel more whole and fall in love with yourself. Let me know what you all think about these in the forum.
Love and light,